Bhang was their father: A mother’s raw journey through addiction, survival and sobriety

Carolyne Adhiambo recalls one of the most surreal experiences of her life, a moment that still astonishes her today.

She was high on marijuana (bhang), locally known as ngwè, when she and a friend were involved in a motorcycle crash. The bike skidded, throwing them off, and a vehicle ran over her leg.

“We fell off, and the tyre rolled right over me,” she says. “People were in shock; my leg was twisted badly. But I couldn’t feel any pain. I thought I was sober. I didn’t even go to the hospital, and somehow, my leg healed on its own.”

Not all her memories of marijuana are traumatic; some are humorous in hindsight.

She recalls one incident from her youth when she and her younger sister, both high, went to their grandmother’s farm in search of maize to roast. What began as a light-hearted mission turned into a small disaster.

“We thought the maize was rotten; it looked yellow to us. So, we destroyed the whole farm,” she says with a chuckle. “But the maize was actually fresh.”

For over two decades, Adhiambo lived with addiction. Her dependency on marijuana began as she sought to cope with grief, poverty, and depression after she separated from her husband. Left to raise five children and two grandchildren, she turned to bhang as an emotional escape.

Drug use normalised

Raised in a rural community where drug use was normalised and even supported, her environment offered no resistance. As she later moved between informal settlements, her exposure deepened. Many of her relatives were both users and sellers, and she found herself slowly sinking further into the habit.

“To me, I felt like I was in control. But the real challenge was that I couldn’t eat after smoking. When I smoke, I lose my appetite completely. I even tell my children that bhang is their father—and they’ve come to understand. Sometimes, they even bring it to me.”

Adhiambo acknowledges that excessive use can be harmful. On some days, she smoked more than ten rolls. Still, access was never an issue.

“My older daughter smokes too, though not heavily. She doesn’t like it much but occasionally smokes when she’s with friends.”

While many assume she began using drugs in Nairobi, her drug use started in her rural hometown. She spent much of her time with male friends who smoked, and despite repeated pleas from concerned relatives, she couldn’t bring herself to stop.

“Drinking and smoking brought me both joy and pain, but I always believed that as long as it doesn’t control you, it’s okay. The real danger comes when women mix drugs with relationships—that’s when exploitation becomes easy.”

Having separated from her husband 20 years ago, Adhiambo firmly rejects the common notion that marijuana led her astray.

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• Bhang was their father: A mother’s raw journey through addiction
• survival and sobriety

“People always say women go crazy on drugs, but many of us actually know how to control ourselves. It’s not always like the stories you hear.”

Health decline

Still, her perspective shifted when her health began to decline.

After years of heavy use, Adhiambo began suffering from severe appetite loss and recurring headaches. One day, after praying and reflecting on her condition, she decided to quit.

“I visited several doctors and had blood tests done. They told me I needed an X-ray that would cost Sh6,000, but I couldn’t afford it,” she recalls. “That’s when I decided to stop. I thought, if I died, my kids would be left without a parent. I didn’t want them to suffer.”

Previously diagnosed with meningitis, Adhiambo had also been advised to stop using drugs.

“I imagined the pain, the disease... and I decided to walk away.”

Now four months sober, she is working to rebuild her life. Still, she maintains a nuanced perspective on marijuana use.

“I don’t think cannabis is inherently bad—it’s how people use it. Self-control is key,” she says. “I’ve had moments when I smoked so much, I couldn’t even stand. Sometimes I’d hallucinate or even wet myself.”

Through painful trial and error, Adhiambo says she has learned to moderate her drug use.

However, knowing that her children have witnessed her struggle with addiction while she was meant to be their role model has been deeply painful.

Now, with her eldest daughter also caught up in substance use, it’s even more difficult to instil the values she hopes to pass on. Urging them not to use drugs while grappling with her own addiction feels both hypocritical and heartbreaking.

Emotionally scarred

The experience has left her emotionally scarred and constantly questioning her past decisions. She doesn’t know whether her other children will follow the same path, but all she can do now is hope.

“I eventually figured out how to take just a little so I could work. When I do that, I feel productive. Some people overeat when they’re high, but for me, I get motivated to work.”

Her deepest concern is the growing trend she has observed among younger women who mix different types of drugs. She worries that this dangerous combination impairs their ability to understand or control themselves, often leading to tragic consequences such as sexual assault, physical violence, and even death, incidents she says are becoming alarmingly frequent.

While smoking and substance abuse are often stigmatised in many communities, in slums and informal settlements, they have become widely accepted among women as a coping mechanism.

In these areas, drug use is not only normalised but sometimes encouraged, with people urging one another to use substances to deal with stress and the harsh realities of life.

Substance abuse hotspots

A Ministry of Health report has identified ten counties, including Nairobi, Nyanza and the Coast regions, as hotspots for youth substance abuse.

The most abused substances among young people are alcohol, miraa (khat), tobacco, cannabis, and prescription drugs.

The survey reveals that one in every 11 individuals aged 15 to 24 is affected. Additionally, the ministry raised concerns over rising substance use among young working adults aged 25 to 35, with approximately 1.5 million Kenyans in this group impacted.

Reports by the National Authority for the Campaign Against Alcohol and Drug Abuse (NACADA) indicate a growing trend in drug use among women and girls in Kenya.

While women often have a shorter history with substances such as cocaine, opioids, marijuana, or alcohol, they tend to progress more quickly from initial use to dependence. As a result, they typically enter treatment with more severe medical, psychological, behavioural and social issues compared to men. This is particularly concerning, as research shows that female drug users experience more significant health and social challenges than their male counterparts, highlighting the urgent need for gender-specific support and intervention.

A study titled "Relationship Between Substance Abuse and Sexual Violence among Women in Informal Urban Settlements in Nairobi”, published in the East African Journal of Arts and Social Sciences, investigated the connection between substance use and sexual violence among women in Nairobi’s slums.

They surveyed 106 women who had experienced gender-based and sexual violence.

The study uncovered a high rate of substance use among the participants, with alcohol, cigarettes, bhang, and khat being the most frequently used substances.

A significant link was found between substance abuse and incidents of sexual violence: women who reported higher substance use were more likely to have suffered sexual abuse.

The research also revealed that both substance use and sexual violence severely affected women’s physical health, emotional stability and economic well-being.

The study found that current efforts to address these issues were largely ineffective.

It called for stronger, gender-sensitive government policies and emphasised the need for community-level interventions.